There’s an old story republicans like to break out, seems to make them positively giddy… goes like this:
I recently asked my friends’ little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, ‘If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?’ She replied, ‘I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.’
Her parents beamed with pride.
“Wow…what a worthy goal.’ I told her, ‘But you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I’ll pay you $50. Then I’ll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.
She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, ‘ Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50? ‘
I said, ‘Welcome to the Republican Party.’
Her parents still aren’t speaking to me.
Good story, and Republicans tend to like it. But let me regale you with the second half of that story:
A month later the little girl went back to the grocery store and found the homeless guy still there. Her parents brought her, teary eyed, back to me. She asked why he was still homeless.
“Well, that was just an example. I’d never actually hire the man.”
“Why not?” She asked.
“Because he’s got no skills, no training… and no lawnmower! I use professionals.”
“But you said you’d hire him,” she sobbed.
“Oh, darling. I was just giving an example to make a point. I didn’t mean I’d actually hire him.”
She turned to her parents and said “So, he was never going to actually hire the guy?”
They shook their heads.
“Isn’t that called lying?” She asked.
“Welcome to the Republican Party,” they said.